Life Update

I wrote so many posts about university and all the open days. I was so sure going to university was what I wanted, but I don't think it is any more.

I wasn't always completely sure whether I did want to go but everyone else wanted to and I was sure I would when the time came. So I just went along with everything because I really didn't think I was ready to leave school in just over a years time and start work.

I think I first started to doubt myself when I went to a UCL Open Day/Interview and everyone there seemed so excited to go there and they really wanted to do something to do with Biology in the future. But i've never really had a clue as to what I wanted to be or do and a career in Biology never really appealed to me, but I thought a degree would at least point me in the right direction. I was just completely unenthusiastic compared to these people and I think I was making going to university seem like something I had to do, rather than something I wanted to do and I really wasn't look forward to all the work.

All science courses have a lot of lab time and class time, I think most places have said 35 hours, whereas other courses can be a lot less as there is much more private study time. And I realised I don't even really enjoy lab work that much, I prefer the learning part over the practical part, so spending so much time in a lab is something I really couldn't do. And when I went to Open Days everyone seemed so much more excited about using the labs and doing research projects than I was.

Then in a Biology lesson I realised I wasn't even enjoying the lessons as much any more. I think i've become a lot more lazy and now I don't really look forward to any lessons, when before I used to love having Biology and it would be my favourite lesson, and I wouldn't even mind doing the homework or revising for tests because I actually enjoyed learning it!

So now I've written to all my university's asking for deferred entry. I've got three replies, from Kent, Nottingham and UCL, and they're all fine with that. Even though my Kent information on UCAS hasn't updated which is really awkward... And that was going to be my Insurance. So now I am free from university for a year and I feel so much better about it. Before when thinking about leaving school I was worried because I would think about uni and I wouldn't feel good about it but now I think about leaving school and I feel good because I'm totally ready for a break and to get a small job and hopefully figure out what I want to do.

I'm going to apply for some Apprenticeships over the year. I really want to get one at the BBC, I think it would be so exciting to work there, behind the scenes on all the sets. I've always loved this area of work and I think I would love to pursue a career there much more than I would in the area of Biology. It just seems so exciting! I can't apply for that apprenticeship until February 2013 though so I have to wait nearly a year... But hopefully in the few months lead up to that I can get some work experience.

I feel really crazy for changing my mind so drastically all of sudden, but i'm sure i'm not ready for uni just yet, maybe I will be in a year but I'm hoping for this apprenticeship. I'm really worried i'll change my mind again but at the moment when people talk about going to uni I don't feel like I want to go, and I kind of feel glad i'm not going.

Sorry, this post is kind of random. It just seemed like a big thing that maybe I should write about.